We try and conceal aspects of ourselves to avoid ridicule, and they instead build-up inside our minds and traumatize us from within. In this way what may well be a thing that nobody really cares about or is a part of what it is to be human turns into something enormous and a burden we must carry. We feel insufficient and then we either keep to ourselves and avoid contact with others, or we put up a front and do not reveal our true thoughts and feelings. Only before you know it these take the form of a habit and become an obstacle to genuinely connecting with people.

We all want to connect and we want to feel accepted and all we need really do is be ourselves, be less self-conscious and less guarded. In fact, the problem takes root early in life. For instance, a child in school does not want to come across as unintelligent and so does not share his views in class, or the boy who is told at home to not show his emotions, or the girl who is taught by a parent perhaps inadvertently to be secretive. On the other hand when you aren’t self-absorbed (that is key) and you let yourself be seen, it is truly liberating and empowering – it takes away the shame and you feel at home everywhere.

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