What is love? Is it desire for the other, or the will to control; or is it about dependence, or about give and take, and all that. Or is love a mind agitated with emotions of jealousy and possessiveness? On the contrary all of this contaminates love. Love is precisely the absence of these. Put simply, love is a feeling of closeness and affection that comes about when the ego drops in the presence of the other. For example, when you meet up with a friend and there is no pretense and no one-upmanship, you let down your guard and allow yourself to be vulnerable, and confide or unburden your heart with no concern for what the other might think of you.

Only after a while you want that the person is forever there for you or are resentful if he or she would rather be with or around someone else. Or you are angry because the situation is not as you want it or things seem out of your hands, and then you want to have power over that individual, and so on. In this way the ego resurfaces, love is lost and in its place there is now this holding on. We must realize that love is something that is happening within us and not so much about the other. It is the ego that is the problem and to the extent that we diminish it we experience love all around.

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